I am at a crossroad. And it scares me.
Like staring down a fork in the road, with no shoes on my feet, I can see two clear paths.
The path to the left is paved with smooth blacktop; clear, even lines dividing the road. There are street lamps to light the way, and road signs for direction.
The other path sharply cuts uphill. It is marred with rocks and thick, prickly undergrowth. The route is unmarked and unlit other than by the sunlight that slips down through the canopy of trees. A path unknown to any map.
Both paths intrigue me. They are opposite from another: Easy vs hard, predictable vs unexpected, safe vs unknown.
But this might not be the type of crossroad you are expecting. This isn’t a life decision that could cost me a few rough years getting a master’s degree or a decision to settle down and get married. This isn’t about getting a new job, buying a house, or making more money.
No, none of those things even matter when compared to my crossroad. On one path stands my life as it is today: smooth, chartered, predictable. On the other stands Jesus, and the path to which he beckons is far-less traveled and unfamiliar. It demands more time, more energy, and more strength. It requires patience, and blind faith. And while this path might not lead to a normal life, that new life I create could be worth so much more if I follow his call to me.
You see, for the past few weeks, my heart has been trying to tell me something. As I sit here and plan for a new life in Florida, God says, “Wait. That may not be what I have intended for you after all.” My heart says, forge a new way. Serve, believe, and above all, put Christ first in your life.
Well, heart, that is a LOT to ask of a young person. Here I am, three years into a corporate career, and suddenly I am being pulled in a completely different direction. I know what it is. I know what my heart and God are trying to tell me. Quite honestly, it’s as uncharted as life can get: It’s a call to serve.
Now I’m not talking a call to volunteer at my church on weekends or spend an afternoon at a homeless shelter. I’m talking a life devotion to service through ministry and sharing the gospel. If you think I’m crazy, believe me, I’m not far from thinking that about myself. It is so far out of my comfort zone, that I might as well be floating among the stars.
As I said above, I am scared. If I take the leap, will I survive? In a century of technology and economy, can I possibly live off nothing? Would it even come to that? Will I be able to support myself? So many questions!
I am scared.
But I know that Jesus has put his hand on my heart and he is at the helm now. How can I shut out his guidance? How can I tune out his plea? The truth is, I can’t. Therefore, I do not think I will be happy until I choose His path.
I guess the real question is: When?